Let's go back some four
to five decades. Gulf South Research
Institute (GSRI) was in its infancy and our Life Science operation had been
established in New Iberia. Dr. William
(Bill) Greer was the Director of our Primate Center there which housed several species
of monkeys including Chimpanzees and Great Apes.
Bill was recognized
world-wide for his expertise in primate breeding, rearing and general
care. He became attached to many of them
and admitted having a hard time when any of his “pets” were transferred to
other centers and colonies or were drafted into research projects.
Bill developed a very
paternal attachment to a recently newborn great ape that he named
“Jimmy G” (the G for Greer). It should
be noted here that primates pound for pound are 5 times stronger than
humans. For instance if a baby chimp or
gorilla weighed in at 50 pounds, he would be equal in strength to a 250 pound
man. Great Apes, when fully grown can weigh
over 400 pounds (2000 pounds for a human equivalent). The bars on its cage-enclosure would need to
be 2 inches in diameter.
OK, let's get back to Jimmy G. Several times each week Bill would make his
rounds through the primate center. When
Jimmy G’s body weight had gotten up to 30 pounds, Bill would put Jimmy G on a
leash and let him tag along.
Jimmy G was
particularly fond of Coca Colas. Located
in one of the center’s corridors was a coke machine that dispensed bottled
cokes. With each tour through the
center Jimmy G would stop at the Coke machine and Bill would give him a dime. Jimmy G would insert the dime in the
machine’s coin slot, open the vertical access door, pull out a bottled coke,
open it, chug-a-lug it, place the
empty bottle in a recycle container, then look up at Bill with an “OK, I’m
done” look and they would then complete their tour for that day.
With each weekly tour
Jimmy would be weighing an additional 3-5 pounds. He was destined to grow to 550 pounds (much
heavier than the average Great Ape) with an arm-spread of over 10 feet.
Jimmy loved Bill and the
feeling was definitely mutual. The
weekly leashed tours continued until Jimmy was up to 175 pounds (the human equivalent of 875 pounds).
Jimmy’s final tour was on
the day that the Coke machine jammed.
Per his usual custom Jimmy gingerly inserted the dime in the coin slot,
opened the coke machine’s access door, reached in to pull out a bottled coke …
but to no avail. The machine would not
release the coke. Jimmy tried 2 or 3
times, but with no success. He then
looked up at Bill with an “Are you gonna help me?” look on his cute little
monkey face. Bill, thinking that perhaps
the dime had not completed its journey through the coin slot mechanism, began
to pound on the machine. After 4 or 5
strikes Bill was suddenly aware that he had pulled a boo boo, a major boo boo. MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO. Oh shit!!
That was Jimmy’s cue. He began
beating on the machine himself, caving in the coin slot area. This tactic was obviously "OK" because he had
seen Bill do it. Of course Bill had not
damaged the machine. Jimmy then tried again
to pull a coke from its slot, but again with no success. Bill knew better than to try to stop
him. Since Jimmy felt permitted to take
matters into his own hands, he proceeded to apply his considerable muscle power
to tear open one of the stubborn coke
bottle barriers. He succeeded. The heavy
metal slot, now bent outward, permitted Jimmy to retrieve his coke. Though he could have had more than one (at no
additional charge), Jimmy was not greedy.
He chugged down his coke, discarded the empty in the recycle container
and was satisfied. He looked up at Bill with an "OK, I'm done" look.
GSRI was billed $400 by
the local Coke distributor.
Jimmy, for obvious
reasons, would no longer accompany Bill on his weekly colony tours. Having no miniature Empire State building to
exercise his climbing skills, Jimmy G would have to be content in a cage.
While NOT a KING KONG, he would grow to 550
pounds (larger than the usual mature ape) and become KING of the New Iberia
Primate Colony. But don’t fret over his
fate. He occupied his time as the
colony’s chief breeder. He kept quite
busy and he was quite content. I wonder
why!
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